Same Sky Magazine

You or You? English Makes It Simple

Formal and informal ways to speak to people in other languages is a can of worms that I was reminded of last week as I watched one of my favourite Austrian TV shows - one of very few German language shows that are broadcast here in Australia - and I’m not ashamed to admit that it’s Inspector Rex. Watching this clever police dog (with his rather handsome detective-owner) is a great way to practice my German, after all.

In any case, Richard Moser (the handsome police officer) is about to get into bed with an attractive vet for the first time. Rex, the jealous dog, is unimpressed. Even for Richard, it’s all happened rather quickly, and he says - roughly translated - “We’re not even saying ‘Du’ to each other yet”. The subtitling staff at SBS translated this as something like, “We’re not even on first name terms yet”, but even then English speakers without a knowledge of European languages were probably a bit confused by the whole scene.

Formal You and Informal You

Many languages, with the very clear exception of English, have two forms of you - informal and formal. In German, you say “Du” to children, and to people who have become close enough to you that they’ve “offered” you “Du”. Otherwise, to be polite, you always use “Sie”. Both these words mean “you”, but there’s a world of difference between them that no English speaker can ever really grasp. A number of European languages have the two “you” system, and even numerous Asian languages have a grammar or vocabulary that shows respect to elders or strangers. In English, we just say “you” to everyone we meet.

Du and Sie in Germany

When I lived in Germany, I often struggled with the whole Du/Sie issue. In the early days, I often accidentally used “Du” when I was speaking to people I didn’t know very well - fortunately, I guess, they knew I was a foreigner and didn’t appear to be offended. The change-over from Sie to Du was always very unsettling for me when people offered me “Du” - although at times it was quite a thrill to have a recognisable next stage in a friendship.

But the rules were convoluted, confusing and inconsistent. My boss told me that because we were colleagues, we should say “Du” to each other. My German teacher, who worked for the same boss, said the same thing. Yet these two women used “Sie” when speaking with each other.

From this point of view, it was somewhat of a relief to return to Australia where you is you, and nearly everybody calls each other by their first names. In fact, I can’t think of anybody who I refer to as “Mr” or “Mrs” these days - that went by the board after I finished high school. But is English missing something by not having these special forms of cultural niceties?

If you’ve had any embarrassing or confusing experiences trying to use formal or informal language, tell us about it in the comments.